Shelter
by Charmed Lassie
Summary: Femslash. After a lousy day Millie needs something... Jo?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story has already been uploaded over at Sierra Oscar and thanks for all the encouragement over there. Equally, thanks to Claire for taking up her traditional role as my mentor/hounder. This has four parts and I'll update soon. Thanks for reading and apologies to anybody who thought I was dead... Haven't uploaded anything for well over a year!

* * *

Jo spotted her in the canteen.

It was empty apart from the lone figure with her head bowed at the far end. The lights over there were off, casting a gloom over the constable and the rest of the cavernous room. Jo debated over the plausibility of leaving her be but that wasn't really an option. So, with twelve brisk strides she crossed the canteen, rounded the table and sat down opposite the figure.

Millie made no sign she'd heard her.

Silently, Jo examined the young officer in front of her. Dressed only in her white shirt and trousers she seemed almost naked. Then there was the vacant drawn expression and the shirt sleeves rolled up and stained with dried blood. Clearing her throat, she questioned, 'Have you seen the FME about those yet?'

After an eternity, so it seemed, Millie shook head slightly. 'They're fine.'

Gingerly, Jo rested her fingers over the bubbled abrasions on the left arm. Millie didn't even flinch. 'They still might be infected.'

'I'm up to date with my tetanus,' Millie muttered.

'So you're leaving them like that forever then?'

'I'm fine, Jo, You don't have to babysit me, okay?'

'That's not what I'm doing,' she answered, pulling her hand back. 'I just want to know how you're coping.'

'What's to cope with? A woman killed herself. It happens often enough.'

'Yeah,' she conceded, 'but you don't try and pull every one back from over the edge.'

The brief analysis of the evening's events caused Millie to blink. 'I should've pulled her back. I had hold.'

'And she let go,' Jo replied. 'You're not forgetting I was there, are you? I saw everything, and for a minute there I thought we were gonna lose you as well.' That was true enough. As Pat Keller had landed with a bone-crunching thwack, Jo had looked up, half-expecting to see another body plummeting towards them. But Millie had been gazing down, wide-eyed and uncomprehending. Since then... well, there'd been this. Smithy had sent her home apparently, but it obviously hadn't stuck. Getting her home was one thing, but Jo had a smaller first goal in mind. 'How's about we get you to the FME, hmm?'

'I don't want to see anyone else,' Millie murmured, inclining her face away.

'No one thinks you did anything wrong out there, Millie. You do know that?'

'Yep,' she answered unconvincingly. 'But she's still dead, isn't she?'

'That was her choice. You wanna regulate people's decisions and you've got a lotta work to do. It can't be done.'

First she swallowed, then she opened her mouth as if to say something profound, but then Millie Brown closed it again. After a pause she said, dispassionately, 'I think I want to be alone.'

Jo sighed. 'I can't do that.'

'Please.' Millie's voice was tight.

Wordlessly, Jo stood. Going to the constable's side, she held out her hand. For several seconds Millie remained staunchly distant then, perhaps rightly comprehending that she wasn't going to go away, she took it. Jo dragged her to her feet then caught her by the waist as she stumbled.

'Sorry,' Millie mumbled, a blush rising on her pale cheeks.

Jo shook her head. 'Come on.'

She supported the younger woman along the corridors more than the constable walked herself. At first it felt strange to be holding someone upright like that but she grew used to it. By the time they entered the empty FME's office she was reluctant to let go. At least, however, Millie seemed steadier on her feet as she moved to sit down.

'Okay,' Jo muttered, looking around. After retrieving cotton wool and antiseptic from a glass-fronted cabinet and running water into a bowl, she pulled a second chair close to Millie's. The constable's chin had drooped, leaving Jo free to study the freckled face as she soaked a cotton wool pad in water.

Millie was certainly beautiful, but in that understated way which people rarely appreciated. She also supposed that Millie suffered from thinking the worst of herself, which could make getting over something like this difficult. She had an unalterable sense of right and wrong, and possibly a stubborn streak. But this was all speculation. In truth, she barely knew Millie Brown. _Nor should she_.

Pressing the cold cotton against the speckled wounds on the left arm, she was both impressed and disconcerted by the fact that Millie didn't even flinch. This had to sting, but it seemed she was right in the assumption that Millie was shut down to all but basic tasks. Apparently, feeling pain didn't come into that. At the moment that was probably a good thing, but it would have to wear off at some point and Jo dreaded the moment when it did.

Suddenly feeling eyes on her, she looked up from her careful cleansing. Millie was watching her with an unreadable expression. Jo shifted under the scrutiny but persisted in wiping blood gently away until the cotton was stained. Disposing of it, she picked up the antiseptic and doused another cotton pad in it before pressing it against the wounds.

Now Millie flinched.

'You alright?' Jo asked measuredly, keeping her focus.

'Mmm hmm.'

Left arm done, she released it. Without being asked, Millie held out her right arm. Jo took it, though this one was more difficult to reach. Her own left arm was lodged over Millie's lap keeping the arm steady while she tended to it. The constable took a long breath but said nothing.

When she was finished she let the arm drop. Lifting her eyes to Millie's she found them already searching for her gaze. Recognising she was much too close, she made to pull away but strong hands suddenly grasped at her wrists. Then Millie was kissing her, slowly and experimentally, no doubt the first time she'd kissed a woman.

Jo reciprocated for several seconds before she came to her senses. Jolting backwards as if burned, she jumped to her feet and stepped back several paces.

'I shouldn't have done that.'

Millie's forehead creased. 'You didn't do anything.'

She grimaced at the hurt tone. Sitting back down, though deliberately out of reach for both their sakes, she said, 'Look, Millie, you've had a rotten night. You're just looking to be close to someone but it's not the way to deal with it.'

'That isn't what I'm doing,' the young woman answered. Her eyes had fallen to the floor again; any progress Jo thought she'd made in the last five minutes was about to go up in smoke.

'Okay, listen to me,' she said. 'We need to get you out of here, alright? So I'll drop you off home and you can sleep and just forget about everything that happened today.'

'You really think I can sleep?' Millie questioned.

'Cross that hurdle when you get to it. Come on, let's get you out of this place first.'

She was walking better now, Jo noticed. After a brief stop by the locker room to collect some things, she made her way out to her car with the constable beside her. Though she'd had the opportunity to change Millie hadn't taken it. As a consequence, the street lamps that beamed down on them as they walked caught the white of her shirt inside her jacket and the red that stained it quite vividly. Jo couldn't help but shiver when she caught sight of it, something which had nothing to do with the September chill.

Once in the car they were silent. Millie was again lost in her own world and Jo didn't want to shake her from it. Truth be told, her lips were still smarting from the kiss they'd shared and the thought of that kept her preoccupied until they reached Millie's district. She knew the area vaguely so she had to rely on clipped directions to get her to the actual street. It was one of those new developments; faceless flats and small houses lined the streets. Millie nodded Jo to a stop on the left side of the road just before Maple House.

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Millie finally looked at her. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' Jo waited for her to move but she didn't. 'You okay?'

'Will you... Will you come in with me?'

The words were said in such a rush that it took a few seconds to comprehend them. 'Oh, erm...' She sighed and gazed at her passenger. 'That's not a great idea.'

'I don't mean... I just...' Millie swallowed. 'I haven't really got anybody and I can't... I don't want to be alone right now.'

Jo hesitated. An hour ago this girl wanted help from no one, would ask for help from no one. Now here she was making a simple request that it would be very easy to comply with. But still... If she went in there the chances were that things would take a direction both of them may regret in the morning, whatever their good intentions.

'Please, Jo.'

That sealed it. With a brisk nod, she unbuckled her own seatbelt and locked the car behind them as they approached the block of flats. Millie lived in number five on the second floor. It was a smart enough building, Jo discerned as they walked through the lobby; one of those developments that suited the young professional who wanted a bed and nothing more. She herself had grown out of that years ago, and yet she was still living in the equivalent of it.

Millie's flat indeed showed signs of rare inhabitation. The carpet in the hallway was much too clean and the kitchen sparkled too much to be in use regularly. But after a twelve hour shift who wanted to cook? Jo couldn't exactly blame her for making use of the local takeaway facilities, the evidence of which was piled on top of the fridge.

The kitchen was to the left of the living room. Three doors back past the main entrance seemed to be the bathroom and probably two bedrooms. Millie led them into the living room where she systematically emptied her pockets. Her warrant card, keys and wallet went on top of the television, her mobile phone went on the table then she dropped her bag into the armchair. It was obviously a pattern, one which Jo noted with interest.

'Do you want a cuppa?' Millie asked suddenly.

'I'll make it,' Jo offered.

'No, I'd rather...'

She understood the hanging sentence and gestured for her to go ahead. Left alone in the living room she took a look around. There were the usual essentials- television, sofa, phone- but also a few things that Jo would call peculiar to Millie. The bookcase, for instance, was overflowing, mostly with obscure authors. At least, Jo hadn't heard of half of them and that counted as obscure in her book. Then there was the wine rack nestled in the corner beside the window, every shelf occupied. Most coppers that she encountered on a regular basis were beer drinkers, with a dash of something a bit stronger if the day called for it. Wine was much too refined for the Sun Hill crowd. Rounding off the room was the cabinet in the corner next to the wine rack. It was glass-fronted and housed what seemed to be a collection of pottery turtles, each one delicate and hand-painted by the look of it.

When Millie returned with the tea Jo had seated herself on the brown sofa, trying to look as casual as possible. Millie sat next to her, possibly too close, but didn't speak for a long time. Jo let the warmth of the hot drink seep through her; it had been a chilling day and she dearly needed some heat in her body.

'Why did she do it?' Millie abruptly broke the silence.

Jo sighed and leaned forward to place her mug on the table. 'She couldn't bear to live anymore. Grief does funny things to a person, so I'm told.'

'But I... We're supposed to help. We didn't do that. We didn't notice how she was feeling until she was on that roof and by then it was too late.' It seemed Millie had opened the floodgates; now she couldn't stop talking. 'If I'd listened properly when me and Sally went round there this morning then maybe she wouldn't have done it. Maybe she would've seen there were ways to-'

'Oi!' Against her better judgement, Jo placed her hand over the younger woman's trembling one. 'We can only help if they let us. You know that. I don't know how she was feeling. I can't even imagine the pain she was going through, losing a child like that...' Clearing her throat and seeing she had a captive audience, she continued, 'But when it came down to it she wanted to die more than she wanted to live. You couldn't have changed her mind. I know you tried. I saw you.'

Millie shook her head. 'I should've done more.'

There was something else at play here, Jo's detective instincts had told her that from the off. Carefully, she asked, 'Have you dealt with this kind of thing before?'

'No.'

The answer was too quick to be true but Jo didn't press it. Instead, she returned to her tea and watched the shadows dance over the collection of turtles.

When they were both finished, she asked, 'Are you tired?'

'Not really.'

'Okay.' Pausing, Jo searched for something else to offset this painful silence. 'What about a shower, would that help?'

Millie shrugged, though her chin had lifted slightly. 'A bath might.'

'Alright, a bath. How about I go run it and you can wash up these tea things?'

Locating the bathroom as the door closest to the main entrance, Jo flicked the light on and surveyed the small room. It was cosy, perhaps the most personal of the rooms she had seen so far. Candles of many colours were scattered along the windowsill and the side of the bath and there was a definite wicker feeling going on here. With a half-smile, she found some lavender bubble bath and set the hot water running.

Apprehensively, Millie stepped over the threshold a few minutes later. Jo wiped her hands on a towel then tried to smile as she brushed past the younger woman. To her surprise, Millie gripped her arm as she passed.

'You're not gonna leave, are you?'

She shook her head. 'I'll watch some telly or something.'

After the door closed, Jo looked at it for a second, unsure of what she was getting into. Millie was very vulnerable right now; did she actually want any part in that? Usually, it was so easy to see people struggling at work and then walk off and blot it from her memory at night. She couldn't do that in this case. The more concerning thought was that she didn't want to either. There was no doubt in her mind that if Millie kept asking her to stay she'd stay the entire night, though God knows where that would lead.

Settling on the sofa she picked the most mindless drivel she could find on the television and sat back, not really watching it. The programme went through three advert breaks before she realised how long Millie was taking. A cold feeling bubbled in her stomach. Going to the bathroom, she knocked twice loudly on the door.

No reply.

'Millie?' she ventured.

Still nothing.

Pressing her ear against the door she listened for any sound she could hear. What she caught were sobs, stifled ones but sobs nonetheless. Without thinking, she pushed open the door, finding Millie naked in the bath with her knees drawn up to her chin while she cried into them almost silently.

Jo was kneeling beside the bath in a second. She wasn't paying attention to the state of undress, she was more concerned that Millie didn't seem to have noticed her entrance.

'Oi,' she said softly so not to startle her. Slowly, Millie's grasped her presence and a blush rose on the pale cheeks. Perhaps she was thinking that the bubbles in the bath were virtually non-existent now, or that Jo was so close she could probably taste her tears. Whatever it was, Jo was quick to squash it. 'You must be freezing.'

The constable just shook her head. More tears were working their way down the freckled face, despite obvious efforts to stop them. Wrapping an arm awkwardly around the shoulders of the young woman, Jo pulled her to her. Suddenly Millie's resolve broke and her body convulsed with sobs that rattled around the tiny bathroom. Despite not knowing what the hell was going on, Jo felt tears well up in her own eyes. How could you see someone in this much pain and not react? At least, that's what she was telling herself as icy water seeped through her thin top- a mixture of bath water and tears.

They stayed like that for perhaps five minutes. Slowly, Millie's sobs subsided and she glanced away, evidently embarrassed. Jo, too, was feeling a mite bashful but to mask it she retrieved the bath towel she'd put to one side and offered it to Millie, assuming she'd take it. What happened was altogether different. Millie stood, but shook as she did so. Jo averted her eyes as she stepped out of the bath and held out the towel. Then Millie stumbled and fell into her arms, pressing against her, though the towel acted as a light barrier between them it didn't prevent Jo getting absolutely soaked.

'God, I'm sorry,' Millie muttered and tried to step back. Jo, however, held her fast, trying to think of a way out of the situation that wouldn't involve her seeing more flesh.

Hesitantly, she reached down towards Millie's bare thigh and pulled at the edge of the towel. After doing the same at the other side, she joined them together over Millie's warm back and attempted a light smile. 'There, no harm done. You go get changed and I'll see you in the living room, alright?'

Though she was making a good pretence of being calm, by the time she reached the living room and the rambling television her own cheeks had grown very warm. The smart thing to do now would be to make her excuses and leave, but somehow she couldn't picture herself doing it; the look on Millie's face would be difficult to walk out on. So with a sigh she waited for the young woman to return and gradually her clothes dried in the warm room.

When Millie entered it was obvious she'd tried to scrub her face clear of tears, doing a pretty good job of it as well. Jo looked up as she came in and swiftly ran her eyes over the flannel pajamas the constable was wearing, happy to note the lack of any provocative nightwear. With halting steps, Millie sat beside her on the sofa, a suitable distance away, and said nothing.

Somehow they both ended up focused on the television. What had been a documentary before Jo had gone to the bathroom had morphed into an American talent show. She idly considered switching it off but a sideways glance at Millie showed she was enjoying it, not the content perhaps but the madness of the thing. Resting back against the arm of the sofa Jo kept her eyes on the television.

Slowly- and she didn't know how it happened- they moved closer together as the show went on. As a result, by the time the credits rolled and Jo stretched out her arms she managed to smack Millie on the head.

'Sorry about that,' she said with a grin that turned into a yawn no matter how hard she tried to stifle it. Almost regretfully, she added, 'I should go before I'm too knackered to drive.'

Apparently reluctantly, Millie nodded. 'Thanks for tonight.'

'Don't worry about it. You gonna be alright, yeah?' Though she dreaded the answer, she had to ask.

Her concern was well-founded, it seemed, when Millie murmured unconvincingly, 'Mmm hmm.'

Jo halted half way to the door. Her better judgement was losing a raging battle with her less scrupulous side, the side that muttered that by staying she could make sure Millie was alright without actually overstepping any mark. Her hand was on the doorknob before she turned back with finality.

'Got a spare duvet?'

A true smile crept over Millie's pale features. 'Better. Spare bed.'

They returned to the living room. This time when they sat down they were much closer but Jo didn't deliberately move away. Instead, they sat mere inches apart from over an hour while lurching from programme to programme. Much as she didn't want to admit it, she was enjoying the sensation of sitting just close enough to- and just far enough away from- this intriguing little constable. They barely spoke but it didn't matter; her over-active imagination was substituting words into the silence, words that she had no intention of ever uttering.

Abruptly, Millie reached for the remote and flicked the television off. Quiet momentarily deafened them before Jo asked, 'You tired yet?'

'Yeah, I think so.' Millie shot her an apologetic look. 'Don't know how well I'll be able to sleep. I wouldn't like to disturb you.'

'Once I'm out that's it,' Jo replied. 'Had to stick Britney on my alarm just to force me out of bed on a morning.'

'Oh, so you're a Britney kind of girl?' The smallest hint of a tease from Millie's lips set Jo smiling.

'Little prissy for my liking. And I never did go for the bald ones.'

Millie chuckled lightly then her face shadowed over again. Standing, she moved quickly through the door, calling back, 'Think I've got something you can sleep in.'

Jo watched her go then let out her breath heavily. Talk about a recipe for disaster! Still, she'd said she'd stay now, she could hardly run out of the door screaming.

When Millie returned she was carrying a pair of baggy shorts and a t-shirt which she thrust at her without looking. 'Spare room's next to the bathroom.'

The clipped tone surprised Jo but she made no comment. Going to the said room, she found it to be a typical guest bedroom: lacking in colour and individuality but generally nice. She closed the door behind her and swiftly changed, tossing her clothes on the chair underneath the closed blinds. When she was dressed she couldn't help but peek at herself in the wall mirror; she couldn't say she'd ever worn a Snow White t-shirt before but it suited her in a strange way.

Returning to the hallway, she found the lights out and Millie's bedroom door closed. With a frown she went to use the bathroom before bed, remembering all too vividly the moment when Millie's slender body had fallen into hers. She shook the memory from her mind quickly; she was the one supposed to be anxious about Millie propositioning her, not the other way round. She was here to offer support and if it wasn't needed she should get some sleep. It had been too long a day already.

It was difficult to get comfortable in the cold bed. After tossing and turning for a while, she stiffened as she heard a door open outside. Her own door was merely pushed to and a light appeared in the hallway, followed by a shadow crossing through it. Jo followed her with her ears all the way to the kitchen where she ran water, probably for a drink, then returned slowly to her bedroom with shuffling steps. The light switched off, though the door didn't close again.

It took a few moments for Jo to realise that no one manoeuvred around their bed that silently. Stepping into the chilly room she pulled open her door and stepped out into the dark hallway. Turning sharply right, she walked straight into Millie's bedroom. At first she could see nothing but when her eyes adjusted they settled on the shuddering figure in the bed. Unless she was mistaken Millie was crying again.

Fumbling, she found a switch to the left of the door frame and flicked it. Millie's head immediately ducked under the covers, possibly at the brightness but more likely through the desire to hide something. Sure enough, when Jo knelt beside the bed and coaxed the constable's chin out from under the duvet she saw her face was tear-stained again. Sighing, she let her hand cup the cheek momentarily before withdrawing it.

'What's going on here? And don't tell me it's nothing because it isn't.'

Millie's forehead creased. 'Really, it's-'

'What did I say, hmm?'

After opening her mouth several times, the younger woman turned over. 'Jo, I can't.'

Though the voice was breaking, she had to push it. If she didn't whatever this was would ruin any chance of sleep- for both of them. So moving to sit on the edge of the bed, she pressed, 'Come on, talk to me.'

There was a lengthy silence, but instinct told Jo it was leading somewhere. Sure enough, Millie eventually began her tale. Throughout, Jo sat quite still, eager not to disturb or distract the trembling figure in front of her but drinking in every word.

'When I was twelve I went out walking with my uncle and cousin for the day. David was a year old than me, thought he knew it all. I was a quiet kid, he... wasn't. Anyway, my Uncle Keith had just lost his job but we didn't know that. He worked an old factory but they'd shut down so...David started winding his dad up, like you do. We stopped at a level crossing to let a train past but David wouldn't shut up. He was calling Keith all sorts of things, just asking for a smack. And he got one. Keith knocked him out cold. Then he just...'

Jo knew precisely where this was going but she had to let Millie say it. After swallowing, she continued, 'He jumped the barrier, ended up in front of the express train. I saw it.'

Reaching out to touch her shoulder, Jo was rewarded with the touch of a tear-soaked hand and an iron grip on her fingers. Prising them away, she moved back to the doorway and threw the room into darkness again. Carefully returning to the bed, she slipped inside the covers and nudged Millie further in. Settling her head on the pillow, she wrapped an arm around Millie's waist. Initially, the young woman stiffened then she slowly relaxed. Lifting her head slightly, Jo swept back hair from the clammy forehead and kissed the skin there. She felt Millie shiver then melt further into her arms.

A few minutes later and she found Millie to be asleep. If she was right it wouldn't be long before she followed suit. Meanwhile, she was inhaling the sweet fragrance of Millie's shampoo and trying not to get intoxicated by it. _Fat chance_.

When she awoke she was confused. At first she assumed this was some ill-advised drunken conquest breathing lightly beside her but as she rolled onto her back and caught sight of Millie's peaceful face she immediately remembered the events of the previous day.

By the look of the sun peeking through the blinds, it was almost time for them both to get up. Jo idly entertained the thought of just slipping out of the flat and going home before Millie even awoke, but that was cruel if not impractical seeing as the constable had fallen asleep holding her hand and hadn't yet relinquished it.

Stretching out had the desired effect. Millie stirred then her eyes fluttered open, catching on her and blushing. Jo wanted to speak but resisted the urge. She wasn't accustomed to waking up in an unfamiliar bed and being unsure of what to say. It was usually something along the lines of thanks and bye with the number being deleted on the way out of the door. This was far from that simple.

I'm sorry I put you to so much trouble,' Millie finally murmured.

Thankful that it was that and not the idea of them being in bed together that disturbed the younger woman, Jo shook her head. 'No trouble. You feeling better?'

'Much. Thank you,' she added hesitantly before sitting up and glancing at the clock. 'I should probably get ready or something.'

Taking the hint, Jo slipped out of the bed, immediately feeling the morning chill. 'I'll be out of your hair in a minute, gotta nip home before work.'

Once dressed, she lingered a moment longer than necessary in front of the mirror. She certainly didn't look any different from the previous morning, though she was in need of a shower and a spruce, but she felt a little strange. She'd made it a rule a long time ago that colleagues were off limits, even if the urge came and it rarely did. She wasn't in the habit of making her life more complicated and work place romances were a sure fire way to bugger up that resolve.

But this wasn't a romance. She'd spent the night in bed with a gorgeous woman and nothing had happened, bar a comforting kiss that didn't even take place in the bedroom. Not that she would've usually taken advantage of such a situation, she just wouldn't have stuck herself in it in the first place. Still, it seemed the moment she'd gone looking for Millie yesterday evening she'd started searching for something. And what had she found?

'Can I come in?' Millie's head peeked around the gap before she pushed the door open and came in, still dressed in her pajamas.

Jo smiled and reached for the car keys she'd tossed onto the dresser. 'I'm about ready.'

'Right. Um... I don't...' Trailing off, the constable looked nervous.

Anticipating where this was going, she said, with more than a pang of regret, 'Our little secret. I'll see you at work.'

As their arms brushed in the doorway, Millie briefly gripped her shoulder, though she didn't look directly at her. 'Thank you.'

'You've said that already,' Jo answered. When she reached the front door she couldn't help but throw a friendly smile back over her shoulder. Then she left to return to her almost-illegally parked car.

Dropping into the driver's seat, she took a moment to steady herself. Then, starting the engine ferociously, she headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

Mysteries, she liked. Politicians, she could usually handle no problem. Mysterious assaults on prominent politicians, however, were a headache she could really do without.

Taking one last look at the blood splattered bookcase Mr Rowe had fallen against after his collision with a hockey stick, Jo ducked back under the tape and located Eddie dusting the front door of the office for prints.

'Quick result on this one, yeah?'

He shrugged. 'It'll cost ya.'

'Well-known politician gets beaten up on our watch and we don't get here in time? Guvnor's willing to pay. Just make it a priority and get him out of our hair for God's sake.'

Eddie chuckled. 'Like that is it?'

'Ever tried to get a witness statement from someone who doesn't answer questions properly? Bloody difficult.'

With that, she went in search of Max who was supposed to be checking with the uniform door-to-door enquiry. He was certainly doing that alright, she saw as she stepped out into the brisk October afternoon. She spotted him over at the cordon, chatting intimately with Millie. As she watched, he reached out a hand to her arm, sending a spurt of something cool lurching around Jo's stomach.

It had been nearly a month since Pat Keller had killed herself, almost taking Millie over the edge with her. Jo had deliberately kept her distance for the first few days afterwards, but Millie didn't seem to want to seek her out anyway. Things had returned to normal: she saw the constable at crime scenes and passed her in the station but nothing more than that, something which should've comforted her. As it was, she didn't know how she felt about it. On the one hand, she'd avoided a difficult situation that she could do without. On the other... Well, she'd brushed that thought from her mind until this moment. Somehow seeing Max with his hand on Millie stung more than it should've. Moreover, Millie was entirely comfortable with the contact so it seemed since they were both laughing.

Without her noticing, Eddie had sidled up beside her. 'He's at it again, I see.'

'At what?' she asked, not tearing her eyes from the couple at the cordon.

'Always chatting her up, he is,' Eddie answered. 'Ask me, she ain't exactly saying no either.'

Suppressing her desired retort to that, she left the CSE on the doorstep and approached the cordon. Both saw her coming but they hadn't stopped chuckling together by the time she got there. Glancing at Millie, she gave her a cursory smile before turning to Max.

'Well?'

'What?' He looked puzzled before evidently realising she was talking about witnesses. 'Oh, erm, nothing. Better hope Eddie gets some prints. We'd better get back to base. See ya, Millie.'

Jo looked briefly to the PC before she followed him. Up close she was as bright as she'd ever been; it was good to note that the suicide hadn't opened any old wounds too deeply. In fact, if she didn't know better she'd say it hadn't affected her at all. And though she did know better she was supposed to be pretending she didn't. With that in mind, she flashed another polite smile at the constable before speeding back towards the car.

Max started driving before she'd even closed the door. As they circled back around the street and passed the cordon, he lifted a hand to Millie.

'So,' he said abruptly, 'any thoughts?'

'One or two,' she muttered. More audibly, she said, 'My guess is love affair gone wrong.'

'His secretary reckoned he was happily married.'

'And you believe that?'

He shrugged. 'Has been known. Nah, it's a rival. Competition, that's the thing here.'

Jo shook her head. 'Our Honourable Mr Lowe was unchallenged at the last election. No one could be bothered to stand against him.'

Max merely smiled and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. 'Back then. Things change. I reckon that's our angle.'

'Fine,' she said shortly. 'I'll look into his political career.'

* * *

After an hour searching around when they got back to the station, she had to concede his instincts about motive might have been spot on. Lowe had reported several instances of intimidation recently, most of which had been traced back to a member of the new opposition party in town. Unfortunately, that happened to be an independent candidate, formerly of the BNP, whose scruples were said to be lower than those of his former party.

Going in search of Max she finally located him downstairs just outside the main entrance. He was leaning against the wall, watching an altercation towards the road. Jo followed his gaze then felt her temper rise.

Walking straight past the DS she strode towards where Millie was being screamed at by a middle-aged man in unwashed jeans and a t-shirt. The constable's head was inclined away but that wasn't deterring him; he was yelling incomprehensibly, the only recognisable words being the odd obscenity.

'Oi!' Jo called as soon as she was close enough. 'What's the problem here?'

Millie's head shot up at her voice and even the bloke stopping shouting briefly.

'This is between me and her,' he replied curtly.

'No. No, it isn't.' Glancing to Millie, she found her pale and drawn. Returning her gaze to the man, she asked, 'Who are you?'

It was Millie who answered. 'This is Ian Keller.'

'Yeah, the husband of the woman she helped push off the top of a building. Murdering little-'

'Alright, shut it,' Jo warned. 'If you've got no legitimate business here, sir, you'll have to leave.'

'I wanna know what happened to my wife!'

'And I've told you all there is,' Millie answered softly.

'Right,' Jo said. 'There's your answer. Now I'll have to ask you to leave.'

At first he seemed inclined to argue but there must've been something in her face that persuaded him not to. She and Millie both watched him to the end of the road and around the corner before either of them moved. When Jo did so, she glanced awkwardly at the constable. Before she could speak, though, Millie mumbled a thank you and rushed back towards the station. She ran right past Max who had stood up straighter as she'd passed but made no attempt to stop her.

When Jo reached him she barely managed to keep a lid on it. 'What the hell were you playing at?'

His eyes narrowed. It crossed her mind that he was her DS but at the moment she didn't give a toss. 'Pardon me?'

'You saw she was having trouble and you just stood there!'

'Millie can handle herself. Maybe I give her more credit than you do.'

She hadn't thought she couldn't be more irritated at him until he said that. 'And what if he'd turned violent?'

'Nah. Wasn't going that way.'

'What, and you knew that for a fact, did you? Because you bothered to find out, did you?' Her voice had risen so that a few people in the front office lifted their heads in interest.

'Will you just remember who it is you're talking to here?' he snapped.

'Explain something to me, _Sarge. _How is it that an hour ago you were practically her best mate and now you won't step in to help her out, as a superior officer if not a friend?'

Stepping closer to her, he crossed his arms. 'Look, if any officer can't handle a little confrontation like that then they shouldn't be doing the job. Millie included, irrespective of anything else.'

'Anything else being what? Are you sleeping with her?'

The question surprised even her. She'd been convinced her annoyance stemmed from his lack of professionalism coupled with concern for Millie's well-being. Jealously was an unexpected factor, and not one she appreciated rearing its head at this moment.

'No, I'm not!'

Clearing her throat, she said in a lower voice, 'Sorry. I just...' Looking at him directly, she continued, 'There's something about this job. We have to stick together. If we don't watch each other's backs, who will?'

Brushing past him, she walked back into the station. It was only when she was half way to the canteen that she realised she was looking for Millie. Forcing herself to stop, she took a particularly intense interest in a wall display warning of terrorist methods while she cleared her mind.

So she was jealous of Millie and Max. That was... strange. Not that she'd say her thoughts hadn't drifted back to that kiss in the FME's office more than once, and the memory of Millie's body pressed into her own as they drifted to sleep was indented on her brain but... She wasn't the jealous type: she'd never needed to be. Then again, her serious girlfriends had always been as interested in her body as she was in theirs. Millie wasn't, nor was she likely to be. That night had been something the constable wanted to forget, Jo was certain of it. Why else had she avoided being alone with her since?

Still... how much of that avoidance had been on Jo's own part? Millie was an attractive woman and she couldn't honestly say she hadn't been tempted to break her cardinal rule against station relationships but... No. She was getting way ahead of herself. Millie was straight for starters- a big stumbling block. But Millie was the one who kissed her.

Yes, for comfort! She was a fool to think there was anything more to it.

'Never knew explosive methods were that interesting,' a voice beside her commented.

She managed to smile as she turned sideways. 'Tell you the truth, my mind's more on my lunch. You okay?'

Millie nodded, though her face showed signs of being recently washed. 'Yeah. Thanks for what you did. I just couldn't get away from him.'

Jo shrugged. 'Any time.' Seeing Stevie heading up the corridor towards CID she added, 'I've gotta catch Stevie so...'

It was a blatant lie and maybe Millie thought it to be so but nevertheless Jo rushed after her fellow DC as quickly as she could. When she met her at the bottom of the stairs she was careful not to look over her shoulder, despite the strong urge to take a peek.

'Did you want me?' Stevie asked as they climbed the staircase side by side.

'Hmm? No.'

'Well, I'll try not to be offended,' the blonde quipped. 'Everything alright? You look a bit... I dunno, green.'

Searching for a valid reason for her discomfort, she settled on, 'Ever seen Bob Lowe on telly?'

Stevie grimaced. 'Only when I can't avoid it. Why?'

'Well, let's just say he's even more irritating in person.'

That propelled them into a discussion that took them up to CID. As she explained the case details to Stevie she felt all non-work related issues drain from her mind. This was a mysterious case and she was going to unravel it before the day was out if she had her way. With that in mind, she made a few phone calls regarding the whereabouts of Mr Lowe's fascist competitor and waited impatiently for Max to reappear so they could go question him.

When he finally did turn up he motioned her into the briefing room. Irked, as much by his stalling as anything else, she was about to challenge him as to why precisely they were wasting more time when he crossed his arms. 'I owe you an apology.'

Sure she hadn't heard him correctly, she asked, 'Pardon me?'

He shrugged. 'Maybe you were right earlier. I didn't know who that bloke was; maybe it could've turned nasty.'

'What's brought this on?' she asked.

'Well, I spoke to Millie. Turns out that bloke had a grudge against her. I misjudged it.'

She wasn't certain what the correct response was to that so she kept quiet. Fortunately for her, Eddie suddenly barged into the room without warning.

Max rolled his eyes as he turned. 'Ain't you ever heard of knocking?'

Eddie seemed to ignore the irritated tone. 'Not when I've got case-breaking news to give two splendid officers such as yourselves. Course, if you don't-'

'Alright, Eddie,' Jo cut in. 'What is it?'

He grinned triumphantly. 'Partial print in the blood on the bookcase. Match on the system.'

'Mike Walker?' she ventured, taking a stab at Bob Lowe's competitor.

'Guess again.'

'What are we playing, Guess Who?' Max answered. 'Who is it?'

'Fella by the name of Will Draft.' Moving to leave, Eddie added over his shoulder, 'Had a couple of killer questions about glasses and earrings, y'know.'

Ten minutes later they had learned the basics about the man who had smashed into Bob Lowe's skull. Spinning in her seat back to face Max, she pointed out, 'They're members of the same party. Draft's his ex-PA. Blows your competition theory well out the water.'

Max peered at the screen. 'Not necessarily. Says here he was previously convicted for assaulting a parliamentary aide at a conference. Served a year in Strangeways then moved South on release.'

Scrolling back up, Jo muttered, 'Last known address is Mercer Grove. Shall we?'

* * *

When they arrived at the cul-de-sac of plush semis they found a car outside Draft's house. After there was no answer at the front door, Jo left Max and proceeded round to the back of the property, finding it to be locked up. There was, however, a conservatory with gaping windows and two figures on the opposite side of the glass.

Barely suppressing her smile, she stepped forward and rapped twice on the window. While the woman fell off the sofa and the man struggled to cover himself up, Jo indicated she'd be at the front door.

'What?' Max questioned when she returned. 'Did you find something?'

'Oh, yeah.' Moments later when the door was opened, she greeted the towel-covered man with a curt, 'Thanks for putting that on, Mr Draft. DC Masters, DS Carter; Sun Hill. Can we come in?'

They followed him into the living room, a cavernous room that stretched from the front of the house to the back and led out into the conservatory. There was no sign of the woman.

'Where's your friend?' she asked.

'I think she wanted a little privacy,' he replied. 'Just what are you doing skulking around the back of my home?'

Max, who had been examining the collection of cherubs on the mantelpiece, now turned back. 'I wouldn't take that tone, Mr Draft.'

'Sorry, am I meant to have committed some crime here?'

'Yeah,' Max answered, 'you could say that. Where were you between the hours of six and seven this morning?'

'Here. Asleep.'

'Can anyone verify that?' Jo questioned. 'Your lady friend perhaps.'

'No. I sleep alone. Will you convict me because of that?'

Jo glanced to Max and let him drop the bombshell. 'No, Mr Draft. We convict you on the say-so of our forensics who found a bloodied fingerprint at the crime scene that belongs to you.'

The colour had drained from his cheeks. 'What?'

'Are you sticking to your story?' asked Max. 'Only we haven't got all day and it'd look better for you if you told us what happened.'

While Draft was debating that Jo had stepped into the conservatory. A beige jacket hung over one of the loungers. After glancing to see that Draft was still distracted, she dug into its pockets, gratified by the discovery of a wallet. Flicking it open, her eyebrows shot to the ceiling.

Calling over, she questioned, 'How long have you been sleeping with Bob Lowe's wife, Mr Draft?'

* * *

One confession and two arrests later they were back at the station. Much to Jo's surprise, the case had eaten into much of her day. She spent the remainder of the afternoon catching up with her paperwork. She was so engrossed that she didn't notice CID slowly emptying until Mickey nudged her on his way out with an invite to the pub. She refused then stretched out as he left. Stevie and Max were the only other two officers left and both were mouthing at their computer screens with glazed looks.

As she was about to return her gaze to her own screen, she caught sight of Millie hovering in the CID doorway. A shy smile confirmed it was her she was there to see and not her best buddy Max so leaving her computer Jo slipped out to meet her.

'Hiya,' she said when the door had swung shut behind them. 'What's up?'

'I heard you caught Mr Lowe's attacker,' Millie replied, veering completely off subject.

Jo nodded. 'Yeah, we did.'

'Was it a competitor then? Max thought it was.'

'He was half right,' she admitted. 'But I got the other half so I'm happy. Mr Lowe's wife was sleeping with Draft, hence why he bashed him over the head. So, yeah, a competitor, but not in the way Max thought.'

'Point to you then,' Millie answered with a small smile.

'If only I could mark it up on a board. As it is, he'll forget it by Friday.'

'Well, you could keep reminding him.'

'Believe me, I'll try.' Pausing, she searched her mind for the best way to phrase this. 'So, erm... Something you wanted?'

Suddenly bashful, Millie glanced to the ground briefly. 'Yeah. Um... I wondered if you would... If you wanted to... Dinner. Erm, with me sometime.'

Jo inwardly winced. A dark tinge had settled over the constables cheeks as she looked away and that fact was screaming at her to accept the offer but there was more than Millie's embarrassment at stake here.

Clearing her throat, she answered, 'I don't think that's such a great idea.'

Millie still wasn't looking at her. In a low voice, she muttered, 'I just thought I'd ask,' before fleeing down the corridor at speed.

Watching her go, Jo sighed then turned to go back into CID. With her hand on the door she faltered and, changing her mind, walked towards the coffee machine at the bottom of the staircase. After getting herself a drink she wandered out into the backyard where she leaned against the railings and watched a light rain patter down onto the patrol cars.

She'd had to say no. She couldn't say yes. It was unprofessional, it was bordering on stupid and... Well, she'd had to say no.

A voice beside her surprised her, 'So what's her name?'

Frowning at Stevie Moss who had slipped outside silently and joined her at the railings, she asked, 'Sorry?'

The petite blonde smiled knowingly. 'When I look like that it's usually because of a bloke. So...'

Jo returned her gaze to the still yard. 'It's nothing.'

Stevie was undeterred. 'Doesn't look like nothing.' After a pause, she went on, 'It's Millie, isn't it?'

Her neck turned so abruptly she was astonished she didn't snap it. 'What makes you say that?'

Her colleague shrugged. 'Max told me what happened earlier. And I saw you two together just now. I'm not in CID for nothing, you know.'

Relaxing- but only slightly- she conceded, 'Yeah, I was thinking about her. But there's nothing going on.'

'Is she not interested then?'

'Opposite. She just asked me for dinner.'

'Ah. So when's the big date?'

'There won't be one. I turned her down.'

Now it was Stevie's turn to frown. 'You did what?'

Shifting her weight, she replied, 'I just didn't fancy it.'

'Why not? She's a great girl; down to earth, not to mention gorgeous.'

Jo had to suppress her light smile at that one. 'Relationships in this place never work.'

'That's not a reason to back away from giving it a go, is it?'

'Who are you, my flipping therapist?'

Stevie rested her arms against the railings. 'Why, do you need one?'

A patrol car drove into the yard. While Ben and Callum manhandled a drunk through into custody they remained silent. When the door had clanged shut again, however, Jo admitted, 'Things that start like this don't work. She was vulnerable and she kissed me. You know where that leads. I'm the one taking advantage.'

'But she asked you out, not the other way round,' Stevie pointed out.

'Yeah, but why? Because she feels guilty, or she reckons she owes me?' She shook her head. 'I'm not getting involved in that.'

'Well, maybe she actually likes you. Did you think of that?' When she neglected to answer, Stevie eventually continued, 'You really like her too. So I'm not seeing the problem here.'

She'd flinched at the blunt revelation of her feelings but now she just sighed. 'It isn't that simple.'

Her colleague chuckled. 'Simple was never good in my book. I say go for it. What have you got to lose?'

With that, Stevie disappeared back into the station. Jo looked down at her almost untouched coffee; it was cold now and beginning to resemble chip fat. Heavily, she returned inside hoping to find somewhere to ditch it. After doing that, she was about to walk up to get her things and get the hell out of the station when she caught sight of Millie in CAD.

Uncertain, she stood and watched her for a moment. She was taking a call, managing to soothe an apparently distressed victim and type incessantly at the same time. When she'd finished the call she leaned back in her seat and let out a long breath.

Without thinking, Jo stepped forward and cleared her throat. The only other occupant of the cavernous room was a PC muttering to himself in the corner. Millie glanced over her shoulder then sat up straight as she looked around properly.

'Jo, hi.'

'What are you still doing here? Thought you'd be off by now.'

The constable shrugged. 'Covering Roger for an hour.'

'Right.' Searching for words, she settled on, 'About earlier...'

Another blush settled on Millie's cheeks and she glanced away, obviously willing the phone to ring again. 'Look, I was out of line. I shouldn't have said anything. But, believe me, I don't need it repeating. I heard you the first time.'

Jo grimaced at the detached tone. Now that Millie was studiously avoiding her gaze it was difficult to speak. Finally, recalling some of that famous Masters no-nonsense straight-talking, she answered, 'Let's not start with dinner. Drinks or something after work one night.'

Millie's chin lifted. 'What?'

'If you still fancy it, that is,' she said.

A smile was pulling at the younger woman's lips. 'If I ask for time to think about it you'll probably change your mind again. So... yes.'

Touching her shoulder lightly, Jo replied, 'Alright, then. Sorted.'

As she walked away with a satisfied grin on her face she was sure she felt some of the ever-present tension in her stomach lessen. That, however, was most likely her exhaustion kicking in. A takeaway and an earlyish night it was.

* * *

Nearly a week later Jo stood outside the station with her hands deep in her pockets. Her breath glistened in the air before vanishing upwards. It was going to be an icy winter, this one; she was sure of it.

Checking her watch, she found she was early rather than Millie being late. Though she wasn't ticking off boxes in her head or anything like that, it had been a surprise when Millie had nonchalantly mentioned as they passed in the corridor that meeting just outside would probably be the best idea. So no immediate hiding; that was one good thing.

'Hi, am I late?'

Turning, Jo shook her head. 'Right on time.'

Quickly taking in the appearance of the constable in front of her, Jo discerned they'd both decided not to make too much of an effort. That was good, it was what she wanted. The more pressure you piled on these things the more awkward they got and when everything went bottoms up it just created more of an atmosphere. Not that she was looking for this to go that way but... Still, dressed in jeans and a low top with just a thin linen jacket separating her from the elements, Millie looked great... if a little cold.

'Come on,' Jo said, tearing her eyes away. 'We'll freeze out here. There's a small pub about a ten minute walk away. Less crowded than round here.'

They walked at first in silence. Millie seemed a little nervous, despite her outward demeanour. Jo was hardly surprised- probable first date with a woman and all that. So she made a conscious effort to ease the tension while trying not to refer to the night of Pat Keller's suicide which hung over them like a cloud.

'Busy day?' she asked then cringed at the pointless question: every day in Sun Hill was a nightmare.

'Just the usual,' Millie answered. Then after a long pause, she said, 'This is strange, isn't it?'

Jo chuckled. 'A bit.'

'I've never done this before,' she admitted.

'What, gone out with a woman or gone out with a colleague?'

'Um... both actually.' A more relaxed expression came over the PC. 'I've led a sheltered, boring life.'

'In Canley it won't stay that way for long,' Jo replied as they crossed a side street.

Grabbing at her hand, Millie dragged them both to a stop just on the pavement. Jo glanced at her questioningly, but before she could speak Millie said, 'I need to ask you something.'

Her insides suddenly squirmed. This was going to be one of those 'don't mention this to anyone else' moments. Not trusting herself to speak she just nodded.

Millie's eyes were firmly fixed on her. 'Are you only here because of Pat Keller?'

She let the breath she'd been holding. 'No. Why would you think that?'

This time Millie wasn't blushing as she'd seemed to each time they had a misunderstanding. Her gaze was firm, leaving Jo under no illusions about the younger woman's seriousness. It was also quite attractive, the steely look in her eye.

'You changed your mind pretty quickly,' she answered. 'If it was because of Ian Keller and you thinking you were-'

'Whoa,' Jo interrupted. Involuntarily, her grip had tightened on Millie's slender hand. She used it to draw them closer together so their bodies were mere inches apart then she looked Millie in the eye. 'You don't know me very well but I will tell you one thing: if I didn't genuinely wanna be here, I wouldn't be. Now,' she added, determined to get this sorted out, 'same question.'

Millie's forehead creased. 'What do you mean?'

'I dunno. Maybe you think you owe me for that night.'

Immediately, she said, 'I don't.' Then she amended, 'I do but... I'll be honest with you. No one has ever done that kind of thing for me and not asked for anything in return. And I'm grateful for what you did that night, and I'm also grateful you haven't mentioned it since. Because I know I made an idiot of myself that night-'

'You didn't,' Jo interrupted.

'I did. That's not the way I normally behave.'

'And maybe you're trying to prove that?'

Millie laughed slightly. 'If that's what I was doing I wouldn't be here, would I? Do you know how completely crazy this is for me?' After a moment, she continued, 'I'm not here... I didn't ask you out because I feel like I owe you, Jo. You were so good to me that night and it felt... I want to get to know you, that's all. Is that good enough?'

Jo silently nodded. They were so close now she could smell the strawberry on what she assumed was Millie's lip balm. But she wasn't going to-

Millie abruptly kissed her, breaking up her inner conflict. Only vaguely aware of the traffic around them, Jo brought them closer together until they reluctantly separated a few minutes later. Jo's lips were still tingling, she realised, as she looked down at their joined hands then up at Millie carefully.

'Well, that's the tension out of the way,' she quipped, beginning to walk again and pulling Millie lightly along beside her.

'So how long have you been at Sun Hill?'

'Hmm. Too long. Actually, I knew from my first day I was gonna regret taking the job...'

* * *

An hour in The Pyke Inn turned into two then more. Once they'd started talking it turned out they couldn't stop, which was fine by Jo. Millie was a captive audience when it came to the trials and tribulations of the Sun Hill lot, and luckily for her there were a lot of them.

'How do you know all this stuff?'

She shrugged. 'Mickey's been around a bit and he's got a big gob.'

Just then the bell for last orders rang. Millie glanced around completely surprised. While it hadn't escaped Jo's own attention that the crowds were thinning she hadn't thought it was that late.

Regretfully, she muttered, 'I suppose that's our cue.'

Millie stood. 'Guess so. Do you want a pizza or something? I'm starving.'

She couldn't help but smile. Many drinks and a pizza to top the night off; this was her kind of date.

The shop was crowded. It took them a while to get served and then they were squashed in a corner while they waited. As soon as she had the box in her hands Jo made for the door, though the street outside was just as packed and smelt rancid.

Glancing to Millie, she muttered, 'I've had enough of this. Taxi?'

'Sure. My place?'

'Mine's closer.'

Twenty minutes later Jo flicked on the light of her sterile living room, leaving Millie there while she went to get them both more to drink. Stopping in the kitchen, with the wine glass poised, she suddenly realised what she was doing. There was no way in hell this was first date territory- back to the flat for drinks and food. Come on, if that wasn't a code, what was? But this hadn't been her intention or anything; it was just the way the evening naturally progressed.

'How's that wine getting here?' Millie questioned, startling her by coming into the kitchen.

She almost upset the glass she was pouring into but managed to narrowly avoid it and put the bottle down. Turning, she attempted to smile. 'Sorry, just... Didn't realise what time it was. Should get you a taxi home pretty soon.'

'I'm not working tomorrow and you said you had a half day so... Besides, still got the pizza to eat.'

Jo opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. Lifting a hand to Millie's cheek, she murmured, 'You really have to leave.'

Millie shook her head and stepped closer. 'I don't want to.'

She was close enough to taste again. Quickly trying to battle down that idea, Jo found it to be redundant as Millie kissed her deeply. Pulling away, she tried, 'This is a bad bad idea.'

Colour had risen to the younger woman's cheeks as she leaned back in. 'It's really not.'

The kissing was very distracting, as was the hand currently trailing down her back. With one sudden movement, Jo altered their positions so she was the one pressing Millie against the counter, feeling their bodies touch in all important places.

_Bad idea._

_Yeah, but... Screw it._

_

* * *

_

She awoke not to her alarm but to her stomach rumbling. It took her a moment to comprehend that the hand draped over her stomach belonged to Millie Brown, but when she recalled the events of the previous night- and earlier that morning- she grinned lightly and glanced at the still sleeping constable beside her.

Slipping out of bed, she went to the kitchen to make coffee. When she returned with two mugs, Millie was stirring. Perching next to her, Jo carefully said, 'Morning.'

But any worries about regrets were unfounded. Millie smiled and sat up slightly to take one of the mugs. 'Morning. What time is it?'

'Just after half ten.' Jo hesitated before asking, 'You okay?'

A light blush settled on the constable's cheeks. 'I've definitely had worse first dates.'

'Right... So we've got a cold pizza in there if you're hungry.'

Millie placed her coffee on the bedside table then reached to put Jo's there also. Her breathing halted as fingertips suddenly began circling her bare thigh. One look at Millie's face suggested she knew exactly what she was doing, something highly attractive in itself. Throwing caution to the wind again, she leaned forward and captured Millie's lips in a powerful kiss.

'You still taste like strawberries,' she commented as she drew back the covers.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Chapter three! Thank you for the reviews, and I know the people who've already read it seem especially nice (Emma!).

* * *

'Don't look at me like that, Terry,' Jo warned. She frowned as he carried on following her down the corridor. 'I mean it.'

'Jo...'

'I'm about to go in the ladies, yeah? And God help you if you follow me in there.'

'Sarge wants you up there,' Terry called after her, nevertheless stopping in his tracks. 'It's your investigation, he won't run the raid without you.'

Jo sighed and finally turned to face him. 'And screw our plans as usual.'

He shrugged. 'It's the job.'

'It's the job,' she repeated under her breath as she followed him up the stairs. 'Great answer.'

Listening to Max's energetic game plan a few minutes later she was almost back in work mode, but it was definitely difficult to accomplish. As soon as he dismissed them all until congregation in the yard she tried calling Millie but it went straight through to voicemail. She hung up without leaving a message, reluctant to break yet another date by that method, but then she felt bad for not letting her know. Growling, she stamped out of the office and down the stairs, trying to focus on the impending heroin raid.

Durkar Avenue was lit by only two working streetlamps. That offered them a good amount of cover so they drew a little closer to the property than they would normally in the unmarked car. The van pulled up around the corner.

'You look miserable,' Max commented as they waited for the all-clear.

'Really?'

'Got somewhere better to be?'

'On a Saturday night? What do you think?'

'This is our job, Jo.'

'Yeah, and you love it.'

'What, and you don't?' He chuckled. 'Look, in an hour we'll have nicked a Class A dealer who's ruined dozens of lives. What's not to love?'

'Great job satisfaction, eh?' she answered.

'Something like that.'

'And you expect me to believe you give a toss about all those victims?'

His head snapped sideways and she could understand his confusion; apart from her arguments with him over Millie she hadn't expressed an opinion about his selfish tactics and general pig-headedness that she'd noticed over the months. But being trapped in a car with an arrogant bloke when she certainly had better things she could be doing riled her.

'If you've got something to say, Jo, just say it.'

She returned her gaze to the empty street. 'I haven't, Sarge.'

Another silence then Callum Stone's voice crackled over the radio: 'Target is in the kitchen. Units are in place. Do we go in?'

'Hold till I say so,' Max replied.

'Sarge?' Jo said tightly.

'Let's get in position.'

Getting out of the car she saw Max signal to the van on the corner. Six police officers appeared quietly. Jo was surprised to see that Millie was one of them. Under the guise of checking everything was sorted for the raid, she sidled over.

Millie smiled as she approached. 'Hiya.'

'I've been trying to call you,' Jo said softly, aware of Nate a few paces behind them. 'Might've escaped your notice, but you're missing our date.'

'Am I?' Mille teased. 'No, I heard you were working so I volunteered for the raid. How else am I meant to spend any time with you?'

Jo grinned. 'Well, you know me. Take you to all the classy places; drug dens, freezing cold vans.'

'What more could a girl want, hmm?'

'Oi, Jo,' Max abruptly hissed. 'Are you in this or not?'

She rolled her eyes but bit her tongue. 'See you later. And be careful.'

When she returned to Max next to the front gate, he muttered, 'Nice girl, Millie.'

'What do you mean by that?'

His eyes were firmly on the house beyond the fence. 'Just that you're a lucky woman.' Lifting his radio to his mouth, he gave the order to charge in.

A moment later Jo found herself in a swarm of people: officers kicking doors, frightened addicts kicking officers. More than once she had to jump back to avoid the swing of a needle in her direction and it was with a great sense of justice that she slammed the latest perpetrator against the wall before cuffing him and pushing him towards Sally.

Slowly, the house was cleared. Moving back into the breezy night, Jo caught up with Max by the car. 'How many did we get?' she asked.

He smirked. 'Twelve users, two lower level dealers and the big kahuna.'

'Result then.'

'Yeah, you could say that. Listen, we're getting this lot back to base, ready up for the interview with O'Neil. Don't see how he can protest but you know what these fellas are like. CSE are on the way; you wait for them, yeah?'

There wasn't a question in there, she noted. So after nodding she looked around the now-bustling street. Neighbours in tracksuits and nightgowns were peeking out their windows while uniformed officers stowed prisoners in the back of a van. Jo counted them off: Sally, Nate, Leon, Callum, Tony and....

'Where's Millie?'

'She was clearing the upstairs last I saw,' Sally called. 'Five minutes ago maybe.'

'And you left her alone?'

'We're a little busy, Jo, okay?'

Frowning, she took off back into the house. It was clear of people now and the extent of the damage to the property was evident. Carefully climbing the splintering staircase, she was about to call out for Millie when sense told her not to. Being as quiet as possible she crossed the landing to the first door and pushed it open slightly. No noise: the room was empty.

Slipping further down the hall she halted at the third door along. She could distinctly hear footsteps scuffing across a carpet from inside the room. Holding her breath, she peeked inside. At first she couldn't see anything. Then a man, probably in his mid-twenties, paced to the wall and back out of sight again. Jo wasn't sure until his third trip across that he was actually brandishing a needle.

She couldn't call for backup in case he heard and she certainly wasn't about to move away from the room. Her instincts told her Millie was in there and she wasn't leaving her alone for another second. Then she heard her; a soft and relatively calm voice in the silence.

'This isn't helping you, Mark.'

'Not helping?' he shrieked back. 'You know what won't help, yeah? Going back to prison!'

'You've been inside before then?' Millie questioned carefully.

'Stop talking to me. Just stop, stop it. I'm trying to think.'

'I'm trying to help you do that. Pretty soon someone'll notice I'm not downstairs. They won't leave without me. And what'll you do if someone comes up here? Stab them.'

He was overwrought now. 'I just want to go home!'

It was too dangerous to stay still any longer. Jo threw the door open and stepped inside. Two heads immediately turned to her. Millie, she saw, was pressed against the far wall. Mark was staring at her, then he began running towards Millie.

'Oi!' Jo shouted, charging for him. Somehow she caught him inches away from Millie, with the needle poised in his hand, and rolled him onto the floor. As she lost control she felt him grasping for the needle again and saw it a breath away from her arm then-

'Don't even think about it,' Millie warned. She was holding her spray aloft in one hand and her asp extended in the other. After several tense moments Mark let the needle drop and Millie kicked it away. 'Now, get up.'

Jo barely registered Millie reading him his rights. She dragged herself up to her feet and tried to compose herself. By the time they escorted him out of the station she probably seemed the picture of calm, but in reality she was anything but. Millie, also, was putting on a reasonably good show, but Jo wasn't fooled.

She held it together until she and Max had finished interviewing O'Neil, which was thankfully a short process. Then, as she rushed away from the station, she found Millie waiting for her next to her car. Wordlessly, she let her in and they drove to Millie's flat in almost silence.

Jo poured them both a glass of wine then turned to look at the dishevelled constable quietly watching her from the kitchen doorway. She wasn't certain if the thoughts going through Millie's head were anything similar to her own but in that moment, in that look, she realised something.

Clearing her throat, she said, 'Takeaway?'

Millie blinked. 'Chinese?'

'Perfect.'

An hour later with trays scattered over the counters, Jo carried their plates through and loaded them into the dishwasher. She'd done this so often in the last few months it was like second nature to her. Returning to the living room, she dropped next to Millie on the sofa. The television was blaring in the background but she couldn't decipher a word.

Millie shuffled sideways, nuzzling into her shoulder. 'That was close.'

'Yeah,' Jo said softly, closing her eyes. 'It was a bit.'

* * *

Just over a month later Jo sat at her desk desperately trying to shed her load of paperwork. The DI had warned her in no uncertain terms that her personal mountain had to be halved by the end of the week. She'd been more than a little riled, however, to discover that Stevie had been given a fortnight to trim her excessive pile and that Max had no intention of ever getting round to his.

'You're spending another night in here then?'

She looked up, surprised. She had neither noticed CID empty nor Millie slip in. Her girlfriend was dressed as if ready to go home, as rightly she should be after a twelve hour shift. But the glint in her eye showed anything but fatigue and Jo inwardly braced herself for what was about to happen.

'I haven't seen much of you lately,' Millie went on after a second. 'It feels like you're avoiding me.'

She attempted an easy smile. 'You don't know what the DI's like when he gets going.'

'That's not really an answer, Jo.'

Despite the obvious effort to keep emotion out of her voice Millie's frustration came across loud and clear. Jo took her time answering and by the time she was ready to Millie was already walking towards the door.

'Call me if you finish before midnight.'

When the door had swung to she rested back in her chair and sighed heavily.

Millie was entirely right in her assumptions: Jo hadn't been going out of her way to see her. In fact, she could almost say she'd been avoiding her, but she wouldn't admit it. Since the Mark Lime incident she'd felt the urge to keep her distance and hadn't questioned why. She'd seen Millie perhaps twice for more than an hour, and she hadn't been alone with her. It was easier that way.

She knew if she had any sense about her she'd finish this now. It'd be better for her, certainly better for Millie in the long run. But somehow she couldn't bring herself to say the words. And she was never the kind to hide at the other end of a phone while she extricated herself from a relationship.

But tonight it didn't matter. She'd sat herself here to sort out this paperwork and she was sticking to that.

* * *

'Please tell me you haven't been here all night.'

Jo glanced up as Stevie breezed into the otherwise-empty CID. 'I've been home.'

'Yeah? When?'

'Well, I needed to get this done, didn't I?' she answered, earning herself a disapproving smile from her colleague. 'What?'

Stevie shrugged. 'I'm just wondering what Millie thinks to all this. You've barely been out of here this last fortnight.'

She was mildly irritated and stood to go get herself a coffee. 'Do me a favour, Stevie, yeah? Stop the obbo.'

Grasping some change from her top drawer she stormed out of the office. Despite what Stevie had said, she'd only actually been in half an hour or so. That said, she hadn't actually left until some ungodly hour last night. It had been too late to call Millie anyway, but perhaps that was what she was waiting for before exiting the building.

Descending the stairs, she tried to focus herself in on the job and the day ahead. With any luck she'd be let out of this cage for a few hours, aware from the paperwork rage that was steadily building. As she made to push through the doors separating her from the coffee machine, however, she stopped short.

Millie was there getting a drink. More than that, Max was leaning casually against the machine talking to her. An unwelcome spurt of jealously burst through her gut, one which she immediately tried to quell. It wasn't that simple though.

No one could deny that Millie looked gorgeous, even if she did seem a little tired around the eyes. Practiced as she was at looking at the young constable, Jo recognised the easy-going mask for what it was. The idea that Millie was unhappy was painful, too hurtful than it should've been really.

As she watched, Max glanced over to the double doors and caught her watching. A small smirk settled on his face as he looked back to Millie. After a few seconds his arm repositioned itself so it arched over his head against the coffee machine. It put him closer to Millie, and he knew that.

'Well, he looks cosy, doesn't he?' Stevie said from beside her. Jo jumped: she hadn't heard her approach.

'What are you doing down here?' she asked tightly.

'Caffeine hit, same as you. Doesn't that bother you?'

She shook her head. 'No.'

Stevie snorted lightly. 'Well, it turns my stomach. I'll come back for my coffee later.'

Vaguely, she heard Stevie retreat down the corridor. A few moments more of watching Max edge ever closer to Millie and she'd had enough. Steeling herself, she threw open the double doors and stamped towards the coffee machine.

Millie saw her coming and her face briefly lightened before it fell under a heavy shadow again. Max had removed his arm the second he heard the door and was now studiously focusing on punching buttons on the machine.

'No black coffee,' he muttered. 'This thing's useless.'

'Get something else then,' Jo said coolly.

He sniffed. 'Nah, don't think I'll bother. See you later, ladies.'

As he sauntered off down the corridor, Jo could feel Millie's eyes on her. Instead of addressing it directly, she nodded to the coffee machine.

'Do you want a drink?'

Millie nodded silently, casting a nervous eye around the corridors. It was one of the few times she'd displayed any anxiousness about their relationship in public, and it cut Jo deeply. She got Millie's coffee first and passed it over, then she paid for her own. That done, they stood in the corridor looking awkwardly at each other. Jo glanced to the small table.

'Sit?'

Millie followed her lead and they ended up sitting opposite each other. Jo took one scalding sip of her coffee before clearing her throat.

'I know I haven't gone the right way about doing this,' she began, earning herself a frustrated sigh from Millie. 'What?'

The young constable just dipped her eyes and shook her head. 'Go on,' she said dispassionately.

Jo held back her sigh, but only just. 'I don't think it's a good idea that we see each other anymore,' she said, keeping her voice as level as possible.

'I don't understand,' Millie said plainly, lifting her sparkling eyes suddenly. 'And why do this here, now?'

The truthful answer to that was that she was afraid. Afraid that if she did it in private the resolve wouldn't stick. The crease in Millie's hitherto smooth forehead was already getting to her and she was at her most outwardly professional. If she allowed Millie in then...

'Can you answer me please?' Millie asked quietly.

Now it was Jo's turn to shake her head. Her nose was practically in her coffee. She held her breath for a moment, willing Millie to refute her attempt at break-up, but no such argument came. In fact, after a long twenty seconds there was just the noise of movement as the constable sped off down the corridor leaving her coffee untouched on the table.

Jo took a long breath then pressed her palms against the table and raised herself up. No point regretting it now, was there?

* * *

That night was a long one. It took a bottle and a half of wine to get her to sleep and a vat of coffee to wake her up again. She hadn't been able to stomach the feeling of being in an empty bed, not when it was a final prospect.

The stupidity of what she'd done had hit her the moment she'd left the station. Up until that point she'd managed to bury herself in her caseload but when she was alone in the cold February night her sanity returned.

Now walking into the station again she felt like the proverbial bear with the sore head. If Max so much as typed loudly today...

Mid-morning, she had to concede that people were being unusually quiet around her. She must've been giving off a warning odour, because even the DI came in, took one look at her and neglected to question her on her paperwork situation. As it happened, she was making more of a dent in it than she'd ever hoped, but she had to concentrate on something to stop her glaring at Max across the office.

Just before lunch something happened she'd been hoping wouldn't occur for at least a few days: Millie entered CID, obviously on a mission. For a moment she tensed but Millie walked straight past her... up to Max of all people.

'Sarge,' she said in a subdued tone, 'I've got that witness statement from this morning.'

Max cleared his throat noisily. 'Thanks, Millie, you're a star. Anything interesting?'

'Not especially. But the CCTV on Baker Lane refutes his version of events.'

'Great, yeah, thanks. I'll look into it.'

Millie nodded then quickly made her escape from CID. Jo watched the door for a good few seconds then rose to her feet. A moment and she sank back down again. She couldn't follow Millie, not when she had nothing to say.

* * *

A week later she'd fallen into some sort of routine. Work, home, eat, sleep. It was simplistic but it worked. In fact, she was starting to feel human again. She still awoke in the night and missed Millie's warm skin against her own but she'd learned to control it. It was better for both of them in the long run, she had to remember that.

Walking into work on Tuesday morning she immediately knew something wasn't right. There was a clump of people outside the Sergeants' office, headed by Smithy but also consisting of Leon, Tony and Callum, amongst others.

'Look, I don't care what you say, okay,' Leon said firmly. 'This ain't like Millie. And someone best get round there and find out what's going on with her.'

Tony crossed his arms. 'I volunteer to go round. We need to look after each other in this job.'

'I'll come with you,' Callum said. 'It's probably nothing but you can't be too sure.'

Jo hesitated for almost a second before stepping forward and putting herself in the midst of the throng.

She cleared her throat loudly. 'What's this about Millie?'

Callum barely glanced at her. 'Hasn't turned in for work.'

'Any idea where she is?' Tony asked in a tone that suggested he knew more than she thought about her and Millie's relationship.

'No,' she admitted shortly. 'But I'm coming with you.'

Smithy shook her head. 'That ain't necessary. She's probably drunk and forgot to set the alarm.'

Jo shot him a look. 'That sound like Millie to you?'

When he'd conceded that with a reluctant shake of his head, she followed Tony and Callum into the yard. Slotted in the back of the of the area car, she felt strangely detached from the rest of the world. Tony and Callum were muttering amongst themselves in the front but she barely registered a word of it. She was too busy worrying.

It wasn't like Millie to do something like this. In fact, it was so far removed from what Millie would normally do that it was quite concerning. The little she'd seen of the constable in the last week had suggested nothing had changed. Course, Jo hadn't believed that she was completely okay, but it had suited her to think that Millie was fine. She'd hoped, actually, that Millie hadn't been too invested in the relationship, that she could easily have stepped away from it. However, deep down, she knew that wasn't the case. Millie had found the last days as difficult – if not more so – than Jo herself had. She'd seen Millie's hidden emotions in her eyes on several occasions, and she'd felt them too.

It was simple really: Millie loved her. And since she loved her as well there was no reason they should be apart. But they were. And as much as Jo had been telling herself it was for the best, pointed talks from Stevie and her own over-active imagination had told her a different story.

'This must be the place,' Stone said, bringing her back to the present situation.

They were indeed on Millie's street, outside a block of flats she knew all too well. She was out of the car quicker than the two uniformed officers but Stone still beat her to the door. His eyes slipped from the set of buzzers down to the entry code system.

'We'll need to buzz one of the other residents if Millie doesn't answer.'

Jo rolled her eyes and pushed in front of him, keying in the familiar code. Tony cleared his throat and followed her in first. Stone caught up as they were on the stairs.

'I won't ask how you know that,' he muttered.

She was too preoccupied to care. 'You won't ask about these then either,' she replied, pulling out her key ring and locating the one little bronze key that she'd had cut two months ago on Millie's behest. It had felt like a natural step at the time, simply because she was spending so much time in Millie's flat.

Callum's eyebrows tilted towards the ceiling but he made no further comment. When the three of them reached Millie's door she didn't even knock. Unlocking the door briskly, she stepped inside, feeling her hopes droop as she found the hallway shrouded in darkness. Tony and Callum entered behind her, letting the door drift shut, then they all waited to hear something.

'Doesn't sound very promising,' Stone said.

Striding through into the living room, she quickly surveyed it: there was nothing out of place, not even one painted tortoise. Spinning on her heel, she went into the kitchen and looked at the pristine worktop marred only by a pizza box. She hadn't been here in about six weeks but it still felt like a home from home.

'Anything out of place?' Tony drew her back from her thoughts.

'Nope. But she's not here, is she?'

Leaving the kitchen she approached Millie's bedroom. The door was ajar and as she pushed it open she found the bed fully made. Any lingering hopes faded as she turned back to Stone watching her with his arms crossed.

'She left here before going to bed last night.' When he opened his mouth, she went on swiftly, 'Millie makes her bed when she gets home after work. It's just the way it goes. Now if it's not made that means she didn't come home last night.'

'Is it improbable she was staying with someone else?' he asked bluntly.

'Do you know her at all?' she said tightly.

After a moment he took a long breath and backed away towards the kitchen. 'I'll call it in.'

Left alone with Tony, she tried to avoid looking into his eyes. She was afraid of the gnawing in her stomach showing on her face, but it seemed he was determined to make her meet his gaze. When she did, he finally spoke.

'For what it's worth, I don't think Millie's that kind of girl.'

She examined his face. 'What's she said, Tone?'

'Not much,' he said with a half-smile. 'But us old codgers have a bit of a nose for these things. I've seen things.'

'We were being careful,' she murmured.

'Maybe you were but Millie? Nah, she didn't see the point. She was happy, Jo, and she wasn't ashamed to show it.'

Callum returned before she could formulate an answer to that one.

'Alright,' he said shortly. 'We're searching the place. Jo, the DI wants you back at base right away.'

'I'm staying,' she replied shortly.

'You can help more from there,' Tony said. 'Come on, let us do our job. We're the ones who rip places apart, not you.'

She took his lightheartedness for what it was. 'Don't even break a shell in here or you'll know about it.'

* * *

'Alright, you'd better tell me what's going on,' DI Manson ordered, slamming his office door and glaring at her from across the room.

'Guv,' she began, 'my relationship with Millie is beside the point.'

'That's not how Sergeant Stone put it. How long have you two been seeing each other?'

'We're not anymore.'

'Well, you had a key to her flat. That suggests to me that – '

'I just didn't get rid of it,' she interrupted tersely. 'It doesn't alter the fact that Millie's missing, does it?'

He paused. 'Tony called just before you got back. They've found hate mail in her flat. Unspecific, not signed unsurprisingly. Do you know anything about it.'

Feeling sick, she shook her head. 'We've barely spoken in the last month.'

Manson pursed his lips. 'Alright, this isn't the time for me to go over the merits and perils of a station romance, but when this is over we will be talking, okay? Meanwhile, I want you to go through the CCTV of the surrounding area with Stevie. Can you do that?'

She'd lifted her head. 'You're letting me investigate the case?'

'Assist,' he clarified. 'You apparently know Millie better than most and the priority is finding one of our officers.'

She nodded and reached for the door handle. 'Guv.'

* * *

Stevie was already wading through CCTV when Jo caught up with her. She paused the shabby image when she entered, looking her up and down.

'You okay?'

She didn't particularly want a chat. 'Let's just find her, yeah?'

Thankfully, Stevie didn't press the issue. For maybe an hour they flicked through CCTV angle after CCTV angle, heading back in time through the week. They'd seen Millie return to the flat after work the previous night and inexplicably leave again an hour later carrying nothing but her scarf. Jo had noted the uncomfortable expression on her ex-girlfriend's face but was waiting to see what the rest of the tapes threw up before she drew attention to that fact.

Finally, they hit on something dated the week before.

Jo prompted Stevie to pause and rewind the tape again, sure she'd seen who she'd –

'Ian Keller.'

Stevie dropped the remote and looked at her. 'Ian who?'

But Jo was already out of the room.

'I know where she is.'

'Jo! Jo, wait.'


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: The final chapter! Thanks to everyone for reading this and ta for the nice reviews. I may not stay away so long next time.

* * *

Feeling her phone buzzing in her jacket pocket, Jo impatiently rejected the call from Stevie and concentrated on her climb up this rickety staircase.

She'd hated climbing this the first time around. It was one of those workmen-only staircases that led onto the roof of a standard office building, the kind you found all over London. The trouble was, the only opportunity any police officer like herself had to see that kind of roof was when someone either decided to blow it up, burn it down... or jump off it.

Her phone buzzed again. This time she halted and answered it, aware that Stevie would just keep on trying if she didn't.

'Jo, where the hell are you? The DI's doing his nut.'

Briefly, she tried to explain Millie's experience with Pat Keller. For the first time in a while she was garbled and it took all of Stevie's patience to worm both the suspect and location out of her. By the time she hung up she'd been told in no uncertain terms to stay put until back-up arrived... just in case.

So, of course, she carried on up the stairs immediately.

The metal door at the top was ajar when she reached it. Daylight streamed in, casting a faint green glow on the railings. A brisk breeze also blew through the gap. Jo shivered despite her jacket and approached the door as quietly as possible. It creaked as she drew it open but she quickly ascertained that neither of the figures on the roof had heard it.

What she saw out there surprised her. The idea of Millie being with Ian Keller on the roof his wife committed suicide conjured a few words in her head: kidnap, abduction, anger. What she actually saw were two figures at the far end of the roof, standing closer than she had anticipated, with no ropes or bonds in sight.

Millie's face was pointed away from her towards the mass of buildings that spread across the city. She was sat on a step in front of a set of railings four rungs high. On the other side of the railings stood Ian Keller, also facing the edge, looking in worse shape than the last time Jo had seen him outside the station months ago.

Resisting the urge to go barging onto the roof Jo stayed put and watched through the gap. After a minute or so of silence Millie spoke. Her voice was trembling.

'I don't know why, Ian. She wouldn't talk to me. I tried.'

'Not hard enough.' Ian's voice was flat, lifeless even. 'I told you to go. Go.'

'I can't do that.'

Ian exhaled heavily. 'Know what Evan's favourite game was? He didn't like football, not my boy. He was a boxer, regional team. Fantastic little fighter. Training like clockwork every Tuesday and Thursday. And I picked him up usually. But that night I asked his mum to do it. That's why she felt so guilty, you see. She didn't make it on time and he walked home.'

Millie's voice was trembling. 'I can't leave you up here alone, Ian. I want you to come downstairs with me and we'll talk about this.'

He shook his head. 'Too late for that.'

As he let go of the railings Millie edged towards him. 'Ian, please.'

'Millie,' Jo muttered under her breath. 'Don't even think about it.'

A second later the situation altered dramatically. Ian leapt towards the edge, Millie lunged at the railings and Jo sped towards her. She managed to drag her back a few inches, only to have Millie scream at her.

'I have to help him. I have – '

Jo pulled her roughly away from the edge, feeling Millie's arms and chest shaking violently beneath her. The more Millie struggled, the tighter a grip Jo kept on her. When the constable finally stopped fighting she dropped onto the rooftop. Kneeling beside her, Jo wrapped her arms around the now-shivering figure and took several deep breaths. That was how Stevie found them when she rushed up the staircase ten minutes later.

* * *

It was with some reluctance that Jo had let go of Millie. The paramedic, however, had shot Stevie a look, leaving it to her colleague to allow Millie to be taken down to the ambulance. It hadn't escaped Jo's notice – or Stevie's probably – that Millie hadn't looked at her once. The gnawing in her gut that had intensified suddenly when Millie had jumped after Ian Keller was still present, but she didn't know what it was telling her now. That maybe Millie didn't want her help?

'Manson's told me to take you to the hospital,' Stevie said, snapping Jo from her thoughts. 'Bit cold up here, isn't it?'

She attempted a smile. 'Ian Keller?'

Stevie shook her head. 'Sorry.'

Jo inhaled deeply. 'Well, he got what he wanted anyway.'

'You alright? You look white as a sheet.'

'Just get me to the hospital, yeah?'

* * *

Millie was just being checked out. While Stevie returned to the station to fill Manson and Smithy in on the details, Jo went in search of the cubicle where Millie was being held. She spotted it easily enough, given that Tony was stood outside one particular curtain with his arms crossed and a troubled expression on his face.

'What's going on?' she asked when she reached him.

'She's refusing to be examined, giving the nurses a right earful.'

'That's not Millie. I should talk to her.'

He held out a hand to stop her. 'That's not a good idea.'

'Why not?'

'She said she didn't want to see you, Jo. I'm sorry.'

Her sensitive side swayed slightly but she drew herself up. 'I'm part of the investigation team. She's talking to me, Tone, whether she wants to or not.'

Leaving him with that, she pulled back the curtain. Millie was currently in a stand-off with a stout nurse. As much as the nurse instructed her to sit down, Millie was having none of it. She kneeled to tie her shoes then stood and grabbed her jacket from the bed. Finally, she noticed Jo watching her and stiffened.

'What are you doing here?'

'You really should listen to the nurse, you know.'

Millie's face remained impassive. 'There's nothing wrong with me.'

'You've had a long night,' Jo replied, taking the argument furthest away from the one she wanted. 'So sit down and let someone look after you.'

'I don't need looking after, I just need to get out of here.'

'Millie, come on.'

'Please, don't pretend to care,' she answered sharply, pulling her jacket on.

'I care,' Jo said quietly. The nurse diplomatically slipped out through the curtain leaving them with just the reverberations of the ward to break the silence. Footsteps pounded up and down outside, rushing and lagging alternately. They both seemed to concentrate on them: Millie to avoid speaking and Jo because she couldn't concentrate on Millie anymore.

'You don't have to wait,' Millie said suddenly, surprising Jo with speech. Even though she was now talking she still wasn't looking at her. 'I can make my own way home.'

'Least you think you're going home and not to work,' Jo muttered. 'Which you're not, by the way.'

'You can't exactly boss me about, can you, Jo?' Millie's voice had an unusual bite about it. 'Besides, I've asked Max to pick me up.'

That stung. Jo tried to stop it but the words had already slipped out: 'Tell me you're joking.'

Millie shrugged. 'I needed a lift.'

'So you called Max? You knew I'd be on my way here. Why not just wait?'

The way she was acting was irrational. The fact that Max was taking Millie home was nothing compared to the fact that Millie had just watched another person kill themselves when she thought she could've stopped it. But Jo couldn't help it. The last few weeks had taken their toll on her sensible nature.

If she'd thought Millie wouldn't answer back, however, she was mistaken.

'You just told me to sit and let someone look after me,' she pointed out. 'I'm asking Max for help.'

'Why not ask me?' Jo persisted.

'You dumped me a week ago! You'll have to excuse me if I didn't feel like bothering you.'

'I didn't... I was the one who tracked you down.'

'It would've been better if you hadn't.'

'Why?' Jo challenged. 'Did you want to go over the edge with him? Because that's crap.'

Millie swept some tears fiercely away from underneath her eyes. 'I could've talked him down.'

'No, you couldn't.'

'Yes, I could!'

Growling, Jo took several steps forward then halted as Millie recoiled. The rebuttal was painful but she masked it as best she could. 'Alright,' she said impersonally, 'then tell me what happened last night and this morning.'

Millie frowned at her. 'Are you on the investigation team?'

'Yep. Even though Manson knew I had a vested interest in the case he still trusted me with it.'

'Vested interest?' the younger woman repeated.

'What do you think I mean?'

Millie seemed angry if anything. 'Why tell them now? You were ashamed to before.'

'Of course I wasn't. I just keep my personal life separate from my work, that's all. There's nothing wrong with that.'

'That ship sailed, didn't it?'

Jo was having difficulty with the expression on Millie's face at the moment. She knew her anger stemmed as much from Ian Keller's suicide as it did Jo's rejection last week but it didn't make it any easier to handle. She'd changed her mind: she didn't want Millie to stay in the hospital anymore. She wanted them to go somewhere and talk this out like they so obviously needed to.

'Okay,' she said finally, 'I'm gonna take you home and you can explain what happened. How's that for a plan, hmm?'

Millie snorted and shook her head. 'I don't need your pity.'

'Do you need Max's?' she asked before she could stop herself.

'Did I hear my name?' a third voice queried from beyond the curtain.

Jo's anger flared and died as Max stepped into the cubicle. Millie finally seemed to relax as he smiled at her. Unwilling to stay there with the pair of them, Jo pushed through the curtain. She heard Max speaking behind her but didn't catch individual words.

She had intended to walk straight past Tony but the look on his face stopped her. 'Please don't, Tone,' she muttered.

He exhaled heavily. 'You gonna be okay?'

'She's alive. Didn't have the right to expect anything more than that.'

'Do you need a lift back to the nick? Seems my services aren't required here anymore.'

'Max tell you that?'

'How'd you guess?' He smiled kindly. 'Come on, I'll buy you a coffee.'

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was a blur. Tony drove her back to the station then she was faced with a lengthy lecture from both Manson and Meadows about the personal and professional getting mixed up. She took their words in silence: it didn't cross her mind to tell them the danger was over, that she and Millie were no longer involved. Manson didn't seem to have heard her when she said it before anyway.

News had spread, thanks to Stone probably. Everyone knew, even if the only indicator of it was a glance that lingered a little too long. She couldn't bring herself to care. Stevie tried once or twice to engage her in conversation but she avoided it like the plague. It took her until the end of play before she realised Max had never returned to work. A quick word from Banksy explained he'd taken the rest of the day off.

Although she told herself she should turn the car around that was the reason she found herself driving purposefully to Millie's flat after the excruciating shift was over. She was expecting to find something: why else would she have used the code and key and not even rung the bell?

Slipping inside quietly she listened to the sound of silence from the hallway. There was no television, voices, laughter: nothing. Her jealous streak – the one she hadn't known she possessed – told her to go straight for the bedroom, and she was about to when she heard a splash from the bathroom.

She stepped into a scene that was strangely familiar.

Millie was in the bathtub, the water stingingly hot if the temperature in there was anything to go by, and she was alone. She wasn't crying this time, though she seemed numb.

Careful not to surprise her, Jo stepped over the threshold and pushed the door to. Millie heard the noise and the muscles in her back tensed but oddly she didn't turn around. Either she was bizarrely comfortable with the idea that a stranger was in her bathroom or...

Jo sighed and stepped forward. 'Can I come in?'

'You're in,' Millie replied softly.

'How long have you been in there?'

'A while.'

'Right.'

Glancing around, Jo located a towel from behind the door and stood poised in front of the bath. After a moment Millie stood, letting the water fall away from her. She stepped out of the tub and into Jo's arms. Millie's face, whether it was deliberate or not, pressed into her shoulder.

They stood like that for up to a minute until Jo felt a shiver and proceeded to wrap the towel completely around Millie before pulling away.

'Get dry,' she advised. 'I'll go get your pyjamas.'

Once in the bedroom she allowed herself a second of self-composure. Was she meant to go back in there, sort Millie out, and then leave? She wasn't sure if she went through the first two steps she could follow through on the last one.

Returning to the bathroom she handed the pyjamas to Millie and turned away politely. After a few moments Millie cleared her throat.

'Thanks.'

Jo couldn't bring herself to look back. 'I'll put the kettle on.'

When she entered the living room with two mugs she found Millie waiting for her. Any hope she'd had of them sitting in silence was quickly banished.

'What are you doing here?'

Jo passed her one of the mugs and perched beside her on the sofa. 'I just wanted to check on you.'

'Why?'

She glanced sideways incredulously. 'You have to ask?'

'A week ago you wanted nothing to do with me. I'm sorry if I'm a little confused.' Millie waited expectantly for an answer then shook her head. 'Fine.'

'I'm sorry,' Jo muttered.

'Not only did you break up with me,' Millie went on, 'but you avoided me for weeks beforehand. You wouldn't talk to me. I'd say you made it pretty obvious that we were over. Then you turn up on the roof and the hospital and I don't know why.'

'You want to talk about this right now?' Jo queried.

'Yes.'

'Okay.' Taking a sip of scalding tea, Jo gathered herself, steadfastly refusing to look at Millie while she spoke. 'I've been really unfair to you. I shouldn't have got involved with you in the first place.'

'Don't start on that,' Millie murmured.

'I just meant that I should've been honest. I was happy and the second I realised that I had something to lose I...'

'Let go of it.'

'Yeah, exactly. When that junkie attacked you I knew from the way I reacted that it had gone too far. I was angry, I was scared, I was...'

Again, Millie supplied, 'In love.'

Jo flinched. 'Something like that.'

'Would talking to me have been so difficult? I mean, we've talked, Jo, about everything and anything. I don't think I've ever actually spoken to someone like I have you. It was comfortable, it was easy.'

'Too easy, maybe.'

'Is it the age gap?' Millie questioned.

Jo shook her head. 'That was never an issue.'

'Then what?'

'How much do you know about my secondment to Nottingham?' she asked after a second.

Millie shrugged. 'It was well before my time.'

'But you've heard?' Jo continued knowingly.

The younger woman sighed. 'I know that you lost two people who were important to you because of it.'

It was easier now she'd begun to keep staring at the wall. 'When I made the decision to leave Tess I chose work over my personal life. I didn't really know I was doing it. I saw an opportunity, a way of helping someone, and I took it. And Seth... I couldn't even help him in the end. He trusted me and I let him down. I chose work over life and I couldn't even get that right.'

Millie remained quiet. Maybe she just didn't know what to say: Jo couldn't blame her for that.

'Well, anyway, I made a conscious decision when I was settled back here that I'd chosen my job once and I was going to carry on doing it. Or it meant that I'd walked out on Tess for nothing and... I couldn't hack knowing that.'

A hand removed the mug from her grip and placed it on the floor before clasping her own fingers. Jo looked over questioningly but Millie just held on more tightly.

'Why couldn't you just tell me this?' she asked.

'Because I'm a stubborn Northerner?'

Millie snorted. 'I can't deny that, can I?'

Jo squeezed her hand then went on, 'When I realised you were missing and where you were it didn't occur to me to stay put. So that's why I was on the roof. And it's lucky I was. You would've followed Ian over the edge if I hadn't stopped you.'

'Thank you for being there,' Millie said.

'Do you blame yourself for what he did?' Jo queried carefully.

'No. He was going to do it whether I was there or not. Or whatever I said. He was determined.'

'But Pat?'

'Wanted to die because of what happened to her son. I couldn't have stopped that.'

'You're looking at it logically.'

'Isn't that what you've been telling me to do?' Millie shot back.

'You need locking up if you're listening to me,' Jo quipped.

There was a lengthy pause and when Jo finally looked over she found Millie's eyes trained on her, pain etched on her forehead. Jo relented and lifted a hand to stroke through the ginger hair she was so familiar with. The kiss was a long time coming but when it happened Jo felt as though a weight had been lifted.

* * *

She awoke to a mass of entangled limbs before dawn. Despite her arm being lodged in the most uncomfortable position possible she still immediately knew she'd had the best night's sleep for weeks. Millie had obviously woken a while ago judging by her alertness but she hadn't disturbed her.

Jo cleared her throat. 'Did you sleep okay?'

'Not as well as you.'

'Maybe I needed it then.'

Millie smiled. 'Yeah. Do you want a coffee?'

'That'd be good.'

Jo turned onto her side as Mille slipped out of bed. She suddenly felt as though she owed her some privacy and, besides, abstaining from watching her was good for her own sanity. The breaking of the dawn through the thin curtains was a cool reminder that even though their problems were out in the open now they still existed. Her telling Millie why she didn't want to get involved with anyone was one thing but actually ignoring those issues and moving forward? Two different things.

Millie's succinct analysis of the Ian Keller debacle in the living room last night had confirmed what Jo had suspected – that Ian never took her against her will and she'd followed him up onto that rooftop, spending six hours trying to talk to him. For a lot of the time it was silence. He'd only really started talking towards the end.

Once the bedroom door had closed Jo rolled onto her back and sighed. This was too much like making a commitment, perhaps it would've been better if she hadn't stayed last night. They needed to talk this out – and soon.

She half-dressed, meaning top half and underwear, then padded down to the kitchen. Millie had already made the coffee and was resting against the counter in her dressing gown staring pensively into space.

'It's still practically dark out there,' Jo commented, leaning against the door frame. 'You can barely have slept.'

'I'll be okay.' Millie's voice was measured, distant even.

'I know that. I just...' She stopped, not sure where she was going with that. 'Good.'

Mille exhaled and crossed her arms. 'Jo, I'm sorry, but I'm not going through that again.'

'Going through what?' she asked. 'The Kellers?'

'No, us,' Millie replied. Suddenly she looked up, her expression determined. 'I spent weeks wondering what I'd done wrong. And I know what you're gonna say.'

'I don't know what I'm gonna say!'

'Well, you'd end up saying that you think it's best if we spend some time apart to think it over,' Millie shot back. 'I know that much.'

Jo glanced away, unable to deny that was where she would've gone. 'Alright. Have you got a better suggestion?'

'Yes, actually. Move in here with me.'

'No,' she said immediately. As Millie's hurt washed over her face, she went on quickly, 'Not here. Two people can't live here.'

She didn't know what she was saying. Neither did Millie, if the frown on her face was anything to go by. 'What are you saying?'

Eventually, Jo met her eye. 'We can't live here. It's too small, so is my place. We'd need to find somewhere big enough for the both of us.'

'Isn't that a bit like a commitment?' Millie questioned nervously.

'Probably.'

'Then no.'

'No?' Jo repeated. 'Why not?'

'Because I'm not pushing you into this,' Millie argued. 'I don't want you making a snap decision because you think it's the right thing to do.'

'It is the right thing to do.'

'And that's why you want to do it.'

'Yes,' she agreed. 'But... You know that I love you. I've been a miserable cow the last month: ask Stevie, she can tell you. Yes, I think it's a huge step and, no, I don't think I'd be suggesting it if yesterday hadn't happened but... Well, here we are. Is that honest enough for you?'

Millie slowly nodded. 'It's enough.'

'Okay, then.' Jo paused. 'So what's it gonna be?'

* * *

'You're moving in together?' Stevie repeated incredulously.

Jo nodded for them to keep walking down the corridor towards the coffee machine. 'Don't sound so surprised.'

'She must be insane.'

'Thanks for that.'

Stevie chuckled. 'Do you like tempestuous relationships then?'

'No,' Jo said seriously. 'We're sorted now.'

'That easy, eh?'

'Wasn't what I call easy,' she replied. Stopping at the machine, she fumbled for some change then stepped aside. 'You go first.'

'You seem a little nervous about it, if you don't mind me saying so,' Stevie observed, plopping in her coins.

'It's not that I'm nervous about,' she answered. 'I don't expect to get much support around here.'

'Well, Max is a slippery prat.'

Jo smiled. 'I'm not worried about that so much anymore.'

'Confident, aren't ya? What then?'

'Manson gave me a little warning yesterday, about the merits of workplace romances. I told him me and Millie weren't together anymore. Wasn't a lie yesterday...'

'Was this morning,' Stevie concluded, glancing over her shoulder. 'Oh, here comes the man himself.'

Jo thought she was joking until she heard a cool voice: 'Can I have a word in my office, Jo?'

'Good luck,' murmured Stevie.

It was much better to get it over with. Jo followed him upstairs and waited until the door was closed before she launched into her own defence.

'What I told you yesterday wasn't a lie. After I found Millie we... we sorted things out. Yes, we're a couple but it won't affect my job. You know me well enough to know that.'

Manson sat behind his desk waiting for her to stop talking. 'Have you finished?'

She blinked. 'Yes, Guv.'

'Sit down.'

Apprehensively, she did so.

'Right.' He cleared his throat. 'First of all, it did affect your job. Yesterday you ran out of here with some idea in your head about where Millie was and you succeeded in nearly throwing yourself over the edge of a building from what I heard.'

'No, I – '

'I haven't finished,' he interjected. 'Yes, you found Millie but you put yourself in danger in the process. I don't expect any of my officers to do that, no matter who they're sleeping with. And last month you stopped a junkie attacking her with a needle, didn't you?'

'Hold on a second,' she butted in, 'I would've done that for anybody. Even Max,' she added.

He half-smiled and sighed. 'I trust your judgement, Jo. I've just seen too many cock ups to not have my concerns.'

'Well, how about you give me a chance to prove I won't fit into that category?'

Manson studied her for a long moment. 'Is it serious?'

'We're moving in together.'

'That is serious.'

Jo just nodded. 'Well?'

'Fine,' he said shortly. 'Don't make me regret it.'

* * *

The lights were off in the living room. Several candles flickered. Jo dropped her bag by the door and stepped into the empty room. A few second and Millie appeared soundlessly behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and nuzzling into her shoulder.

'How was your day?' she questioned.

Jo turned around, widening Millie's radiant smile. 'Two assaults, a hit and run, and a stalker. Yours?'

'Well, I was at the cordon of the hit and run. You walked straight past me by the way.' She ran a fingertip across Jo's lips. 'Did the victim make it?'

'It was touch and go but, yeah, she did.' Jo paused and inhaled the lavender scent of the candles behind her. 'What's this in aid of?'

Millie tilted her head to one side. 'Do I need a reason?'

'Yes,' Jo said without hesitation.

A hand began massaging her shoulder. Jo shrugged out of her jacket, allowing it to slip to the floor. The chill that swept over her was swiftly superseded by Millie's fingers trailing down her arm.

'Well, I wanted to make sure you hadn't changed your mind,' Millie murmured, her voice barely audible.

Jo closed her eyes and when she opened them the beautiful young constable was still standing there, a tinge on her cheeks and her teeth nibbling nervously on her lower lip.

'There's not much chance of that,' she replied.


End file.
